Monday, June 15, 2009

Not that I've ever done this, of course

You know you've been in your church district too long when:
  • You begin referring to church members as "perps."
  • You start saving cardboard boxes "because we might need them for our next move."
  • You begin recycling old sermons -- and your church members comment on "how much your sermons have improved lately."
  • You know exactly how much your house is worth, the average time it takes a house to sell in your market, and the names of three good real estate agents.
  • You begin children's stories by saying, "Let me tell you something your parents did when they were your age . . . "
  • Instead of the benediction, you now say, "Whatever."
  • You keep a list of the things you'd like to say in your last sermon there in that district -- and right now, it has enough material for a five-part series.

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