Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Review: John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Kudos to Larry Ververka at Walla Walla University for telling me about this book -- he mentioned it in a sermon at Lincoln City, and I've been using it every since for pre-marital counseling, marriage counseling, and personal growth.

And yes, it's pretty much what the title says:
  • the seven principles that all good marriages have in common,
  • derived by University of Washington psychologist John Gottman,
  • based on his years of studying how couples treat each other.
Gottman claims that, 91% of the time, he can predict which couples are headed for divorce; with luck, the odds improve after reading his book.

Like most self-help books, Gottman offers good advice -- but like all self-help books, his advice is not always easy to practice.

Then too, it's not a good idea for just one member of a couple to read this book; doing so can lead to conversations that begin with the words, "Gottman says you're doing this because. . . . " Trust me -- you don't want to go there!

But if you're counseling a couple that's getting married . . . or you're looking for new topic for a Prayer Meeting series . . . or even if you're feeling just a little bit "stuck" in your own marriage, then try Gottman -- he's great!

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